The Small Act My Mom Did That Made A Huge Difference
My coming out to my mom wasn’t that smooth at the beginning. Not only did I tell her I am gay, I also told her at the same time that I was in a relationship with a person she thought was just my friend. On top of that, I told her this while Alla was downstairs at the living room. Yep, I did not plan that very well because it wasn’t something I really planned for. Alla wasn’t even aware. That moment arrived and it just happened. I couldn’t take hiding anymore for another second.
But this isn’t about my coming out story. This is about a small thing that my mom did to show me that while she’s trying to grasp everything, she accepts me and Alla and what we have. It was something so simple. It was around this time of the year too - Christmas was just around the corner and I received a phone call. My mom calling me. As any good child would, I answered, not really thinking about it that much since we usually talk anyway.
When I heard her, I could feel she was really nervous. Slowly, she said these words.. “Si Alla… mahilig magluto diba? Sa tingin mo, magugustuhan nya yung Del Monte na Cookbook?” (Alla loves to cook right? Do you think she’ll like this Del Monte Cookbook?) When she first mentioned Alla’s name, I was preparing myself for some weird question but when she asked about the cookbook, oh I still remember how I smiled and went to the bedroom to make sure Alla doesn’t hear our conversation.
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I, of course, said she’ll definitely love it and I could hear my mom release this huge sigh of relief and saying, “Ay salamat, may regalo na ako sa kanya sa Pasko. Ang tagal kong iniisip eh.” (Thank goodness, I finally have a gift for her this Christmas. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.) I remember my smile growing even further. The conversation we had after this was a blur.
Come Christmas, as she was giving her gift to Alla, I can see her holding back her smile and nervousness all at the same time. Alla opened the gift and loved it. I remember my mom explaining why she was giving Alla a cookbook. Again, this is a little fuzzy for me now. But what I remember clearly is how Alla and I felt. It’s was a small gesture with a huge impact. My mom was telling Alla that she’s part of the family and that she accepts not only me but us - she was accepting us for who we are.
So, never underestimate the power of small gestures and gift-giving. Sometimes, we don’t need to explicitly say something to show our love. Sometimes, all it takes is a cookbook.
